A dangerous strain of dog flu is sweeping the country. Veterinarians are telling patients to, “Catch two Frisbees and call me in the morning.”
Scientists say robots will be controlling my life in the very near future. They might want to tell my wife.
A man from England who loved sea salt died of a sodium overdose. Assaulted by sodium, go figure.
Scientists are now saying animals workout just like humans to stay fit. What ticks me off is the turtles hogging the treadmills.
The NFL said today’s playoff game will be so cold the teams will use specially designed underwear … It’s got a special place to keep the player’s ego.
A 23 year old woman in South Carolina bit off the finger of a Walmart clerk because she tried to stop her from shoplifting. When asked about the incident, the clerk said, “I should have taken that job in the second hand store.”
Just got into an argument with my wife over the 500 million dollar lottery and what we’d do if we won. Couples fight over what to do with their money. We fight over what to do with the money we don’t even have.