Larry’s Latest Laughs #414

An Elderly Care Home in England brought in pole dancers to entertain residents. The show had the men’s teeth chattering…while they were still in a the glass.

Today is National Almond Day. King Tut was buried with a handful of almonds believed to give him nutrients on the road to the hereafter. If you’re going to the hereafter, you might want to have your hands on your nuts.

I saw on Facebook of the 10 Louisiana politicians who voted no on the bestiality law. I guess they’ll always love ewe.

A guy in Clearwater, Florida, tried to leave a pet store with an exotic fish by stuffing it down his pants. The manager said he was easy to spot. He was the guy dancing wildly around the tank that held the piranhas.

A West Virginia woman was arrested for beheading her boyfriend and as they drove her away from the bloody scene, she told the cops, “You have to take me back and let me get my heads.” To which the cop said, “That’s where we be heading.”

Rage Yoga’ is posing while cursing loudly, drinking alcohol, and listening to metal music. My wife does that while getting into the pants.

Now 72, the man from Spain who was raised by wolves in a cave for 12 years as a young boy, now admits he’s disappointed with human life. But, he did say he enjoyed the Twilight Series, and still has that thing for Grandmas.

A 54-year-old Ohio woman was arrested Saturday afternoon for allegedly making lewd comments to an Easter Bunny at a carousel park. He was then fired when he tried to rub the hare on her leg.

With DNA from a museum specimen, scientists reconstructed the genome of a bird extinct for 700 years. Impressive, but what I’d still rather see is KFC come up with a three legged chicken.

An expert claims human speech will be replaced by thought communication by 2050. Good. I was really tired of saying, duh.

A new study of the air around Los Angeles finds that hairspray, paint, and deodorant rival cars for harmful atmospheric pollutants. That, in a city where it’s better to look good than to feel good.

An 82 year old Milkman in Montreal is retiring after 67 years on the job. He started when he was 15 years old and never left the neighborhood. He said, “I had no choice, I’m 82 , not 22.” He then went on to say it’s only a coincidence that all the people on the block look the same.

A woman said she didn’t smile for forty years to avoid wrinkles and it is crucial to her good looks. She said it was easy. She works for the IRS.

 

 

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From an an early age I knew what I wanted to do. I've done radio, TV, stand-up, the stage, opera, written plays, musicals, creative director for an arts an entertainment magazine, owned nightclubs and restaurants. I'm a terrible business man. I host the morning show on C-96.7 KCIL, Houma, La. #RRBC

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